understatement of who i am....

ummmm....

2007-09-06T13:41:00.000+08:00

the feeling of confusion is all over me....
how i wish it would already end...
so damn tired of everything....
but what can i do.....
i still have to go on....

out of the blue...

2007-08-30T15:57:00.000+08:00

trying to be fine...
trying to find myself again...
thanx to my friends...
just can't keep up anymore....
but i still have to deal with it....
no one can help me but myself....
these are just trials i have to deal with....
trial to let time pass by...
to make me stronger...
and realize my worth....
as a person...
as a friend....
as somebody......

hitting rock bottom!

2007-08-09T09:06:00.000+08:00

sad...
depressed....
ht rock bottom!
feeling of insecurity...
feeling of desperation.....
wishing it never happened...
wishing it was over....
worried sick....
so blue..

life = sucks! (hehe)

2006-09-15T09:00:00.000+08:00

i never imagined that my life is too short... sounds familiar right? well... i don't have a choice but just to live with it and make do with whatever i have with my life right now.... i never had a dream for it to be too complicated but as time passes by.... it gradually decreases.... having my family and friends by my side.... makes me stronger each day to face the challenge.... i may not be as perfect as others may be... but im trying.. in my own ways....

cold cold nights...

2006-07-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

for the past few days.... its been raining like cats and dogs.... i just miss having somebody by my side during cold nights... where all you do is spend quality time with each other..... talking bout life... bout ur relationship.... ur problems with work... with
life.... with family.... knowing that whatever happens, u know that somebody will listen to you.... that somebody will never leave your side.... that somebody won't judge you at all.... will stay by your side.... up till you fall asleep.... and even wait for the following day to come up....when you wake up.... i hope and pray that with who im with right now is that perfect somebody that i want to spend the rest of my life with....

lovin' my baby more and more!!!

2006-07-12T12:31:00.000+08:00

i just realize some stuffs are meant to happen without any plans or whatsoever..... lately.... i'm spending some quality time with my boyfriend... and i'm happy about it... even when we are miles apart from each other we see to it that we could be with each other whenever it is possible.... i love him!! there is no doubt about it... i am happy to have him in my life right now... i hope our story would end up like fairytales do..... and hey live happily every after.... hehehe... kidding aside... and i'm also glad that through him... i've also met a lot of different people... his barkada.... my new ate's and kuya's.... who really treat him as their baby in the barkada.... i love them.... and i'm also thankful that they are treating me well... for now i'm happy... i love this kind of feeling... i hope it just wouldn't end just like that... ! :)

i'm back!!!!

2006-06-26T10:01:00.000+08:00

After the long wait…. I’m finally back… hehehe… kidding aside... it took me quite sometime to get back to blogging…

A lot of things had been happening in my life lately…..
Maybe it’s just too much for me to handle…..

Well my life is still the same with some minor upgrades and major repairs.

One would be the death of my dearest grandmother last may….. Actually the start of the summer was very grueling for me and my family…. We no longer enjoy the benefits of life thoroughly because having a sick relative that you love …. Suffering all the pain and you can’t do anything about it… it really sucks…. If only I could be the one lying in bed taking in all the pain just not to see her suffer like that… I would definitely take her place without any hesitations…. I cannot bare to see her looking like that…. I feel so helpless… I just realize back then that even though you have everything in life… family… money… career…. Love life… if it’s your time you can’t do anything about it... not even if you have loads of money to spend….. Our life means everything…. Without it we are nothing…. Non-existent to this world….

Losing a relative is tough….. As well as losing a friend whom you really trust and valued like your real sister…..

I just realized that my friends were right….. There are only two things that could make or break your friendship… MONEY & RELATIONSHIP….. I thought it was just a mere saying… or just a line in some movies… but I’ve proven it to myself… all the while I thought… she did change like what she is trying to make me believe... but what I thought was REAL was totally a FRAUD…. I once told her that she just have to tell me the truth… no more lies… no more pretensions…. Is that too much to ask…. That was the second time around and she haven’t learned anything form it yet… we cannot have the best of both worlds… but my point with that honesty that i'm looking forward from her, will definitely buy her respect from me…. But what happened…. She opted to be the same person; she was once before….. right now…. I still wish her well…. I hope that whatever’s going on in her life… she would be happy with it…. Not all people could understand the way I think… I hope karma won’t go her way at all…. Coz even if we are already apart from each other as friends….. I still don’t want to see her suffer like the way I did….

But with all of my loses in life…. I still haven’t yet giving up…. As each day pass by… I’m happy and contented with what I have right now…. My life… my family…. My friends… my work…. And my boyfriend…. I may not be the perfect person in this whole world but i’m trying to be at my best….. without them, I am nothing… without them standing by me… i’m worthless…. I owe them a lot….

dreaming of the impossible...

2006-03-27T11:25:00.000+08:00

i never imagine a life full of problems and trials... but as i look at my life right now... i have that kind of life.... when i was a kid i always wish to be older so that i could do stuffs older people do... but why do i feel this way right now... i wish to be a kid... with a hassle free life... you can do anything without people judging you based on your actions.... you can be whoever you wanna be... but as i evaluate my life... its full of complications, hardships and trials.... but without these things in my life that has been happenning for the longest time... i wouldn't be stronger and ready to face the present the future to come....

what hurts????

2006-02-06T08:46:00.000+08:00

what hurts?
What hurts...???:: letting go of a person u've just learned to love
:: reminiscing the good times u shared together
:: shielding ur heart to love somebody
:: trying to hide what u really feel
:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes
:: loving a person too much
:: giving up someone u never thought of giving up
:: having the right love at the wrong time
:: taking the risk to fall in love again
:: hiding ur relationship from someone else
:: controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
:: thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks single thought of you...
:: letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper
:: holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
:: falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall inlove with =(
:: finding the perfect man...with only one prob....he doesnt love you...
:: helping the one you love court your friend
:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else
:: the waiting also hurts like hell (better leave!ampotah)
:: having to hear "... I've met someone"
:: agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
:: asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with her'
:: asking u to 'forget that everything happened'and be 'normal' friends again.
:: hearing that u're treated as a little sister.
:: sharing his future plans for the girl with you.
:: u stopped being friends bcoz her bf/gf asked her/him to.
:: being denied in front of people.
:: telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame'!
:: she told u she'd be leaving u to return to her ex (d one she left 4 u!)
:: breaking someone's heart =(
:: fighting for that one thing that would make you happy (even if you`re unsure where youre heading and if she`s worthy of that effort..)
:: that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fixedhimself/herself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he/she says, time will tell...but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her (you`ll definetly get tired of this set up..break the cycle!)
:: PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
:: PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness
:: lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...
:: being with someone you can't actually love..=(
:: pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...
:: being in love...*sigh*
:: letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting, because it was your decision(coz if you do..ang kupal mo!)
:: seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...
:: having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things willnever be the same again when he/she doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
:: having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set foryourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
:: admitting that you love someone despite her/his imperfections
:: finding out that the more you try to hate her/him, the more you end up loving her/him,perhaps even more than before...
:: realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
:: the thought that this girl/guy, used to really love you and you loved her/him as well but you didn'tgive enough and she/he gave up on you (all your fault!bleh ;op)
:: Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else...
:: making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to bedelivered....the commitment is no longer there...
:: the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
After you've been hurt......learn to forgive...learn to trust and love again

...a simple night out with friends...

2006-01-27T12:24:00.000+08:00

before we left for the party in malate... i had to do a lot of stuff for work... for my family and also for myself.... but before the day was over i had a huge fight with somebody...and that led to a confrontation which i never expected... maybe the sudden downpour of emotion was overpowering that i myself cannot control anymore...

going further... the haven't started yet but it seems that i wasn't in the mood to party that night... but things have to go the way it was planned to be... we went to the party... it was not that organized for us... if we are given the opportunity to redo the party we would be glad to help.. to give more style... and attitude... for what its worth.. it was okay... but now exceeding our expectations...

thus we also have to bring home my lil sis for she was not feeliug well that night.. so the plans for the night was disrupted again for the nth time... seems funny though but i'd rather secure my sister's health than my own trippings for the night....

so there.. we went ahead to bring her home then we decided to go out again... hehhe ... the night was still young and we haven't enjoyed it yet... :) all is well.... :) just chillin till the break of morning that'll hit our eyes....

...never ending friendships tested through and through....

2005-11-30T14:12:00.000+08:00

better days!!!! :) aren't over yet :)

2005-11-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

mah friends!!!!

2005-11-10T14:05:00.000+08:00

SURVEY ULI!!!!

2005-10-25T15:05:00.000+08:00

Are you single, married, or taken?
>it's kinda complicated
Are you inlove at the moment?
>yes... you could even ask my friends
With?
> it's complicated!!!!
Have you ever had a bad relationship?
> yes :)
How old were you when you started dating?
> 16
Are you unpredictable?
> sometimes...
Do you like surprises?
> yes
You think friends can become lovers?
> yes...
u think lovers can become friends?
> yes...in time
Have you ever had an ex you wanted to kill?
>la naman
How is she/he now?
> i think he's ok
What is your message for him/her?
> it's not my loss....
Have you ever been hurt?
> YES.. a lot of times and still counting....
Have you ever hurt anyone?
> OPO!
Do you forgive and forget?
> OPO! tama b?
Fling or long term relationships?
> long term definitely!!!
Are you easy to be loved?
> i think yes...
Are you a good friend?
> yes... u jst have to ask around...
Are you sociable?
> yes.. but i'm still a self proclaimed introvert!!!
Do you try to please everyone?
> no
Do you want everyone to like you?
> ideally yes...but if they don't like me...its fine with me :)
What's the shortest relationship you've been in?
> 1 month
What would you want to say to that special person?
> I hope its you... im always here no matter what happens....

KABILUGAN NG BUWAN... AY BUWAN NG KALIBUGAN... hehehehe

2005-09-19T11:45:00.000+08:00

ANOTHER STRESSFUL DAY THAT ENDED UP NICELY..... ALL PLANS WERE SET.. BUT TO HELL WITH ALL THOSE PLANS.... HEHEH.... NUTHIN REALLY DID PUSH THRU... OR I MAY SAY..... NOT ALL PLANS PUSHED THRU..... WELL..... JUST THE SAME..... WE STILL ENJOY THE NIGHT.... WE STILL HAD FUN... EVEN FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS LATE....MISHAPS AND COINCIDENCES HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.... LAUGHTRIPS... KILIG MOMENTS.... MAJOR CHIKAHAN..... CHAKA BELLES DELIGHT.... ALL JOINED INTO ONE.... A NIGHT WITH OLD FRIENDS... NEW FRIENDS... AND MERE ACQUAINTANCES..... A NIGHT OF FUN UNDER THE FULL MOON.... :)

COOL RIDES @ PICC FORUM!!!!

2005-09-17T09:23:00.000+08:00

phoebe's alphabet....

2005-09-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

A - Act your age?>> grow up people!!

B - Born on what day of the week?>> I’m not really sure… al I know is that I was born on July 27, 1983 sometime around in the afternoon...
C - Chore you hate?>> hand washing clothes ….. good thing we already have washing machines…
D - Dad's name?>> victor….
E - Essential makeup item?>> lip balm or cheek and lip stain by body shop….F - Favorite director?>> steven spielberg….
G - Gold or silver?>> white gold… does it count? Hehhe :PH - Hometown?>> durty south…. :PI - Instruments you play?>> ummm I really dunno….
J - Job title?>> general manager?!! Sounds family?!!! :P
K - Kids?>> none as of the moment….
L - Living arrangements?>> with my loving familia J
M - Mom's name?>> marcelina
N - Number of pillows you sleep with?>> 3
O - Overnight hospital stays?>> I don’t remember…. L
P - Phobia?>> none as of the moment….
Q - Quote you like?>> it ain’t over, til it’s over….
R - Religious affiliation?>> ummmm…. Lemme think about that…. J
S - Siblings?>> 2 sisters and my big bro J (legitimate side of the family) 6 sisters. ½ bro…. J (lligitimate side of the family) just ask me if u don’t understand the situation…. J
T - Time you wake up?>> as early as 6 am
U - Unique habit?>> ummmm… lemme think on that one as well…J
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat?>>dami eh... L
W - Worst habit?>> lemme think on that one as well.. J
X - X-rays you've had?>> I forgot… L
Y - Yummy food you make?>> spaghetti, cookies and shrimp with lemon-butter sauce, shepherd’s pie…. Chocolate schip cookies from the peninsula manila…etc….

Z - Zipper u'ved opened?>> my board shorts….ummm … do I have to tell?!

confession room once again....

2005-09-15T09:31:00.000+08:00

few bottles of beer and soda.... good sounds... good movie.... good friends.... conversations that led to confessions..... confessions that led to reality.... bonding with people who understands you.... who sees you when your in deep shit.... who tries to be strong for you no matter what.... even if you think you carry the whole world as a burden at your back.... realization that the problem that you have is nothing compared to what they have right now.... to what they are thinking about.... comparison wise.... i'm very thankful for already passing those stages of having sleepless nights... every single night that i was so confused, every single night that i feel so alone, that there is no one to turn to or to lean on..... troubled and crazed..... stunned..... spaced out..... insecured..... but i know that even though i am okay now..... there are a lot of things going on my mind.... a lot of questions yet to be answered.... but i know all things will work out fine..... and i hope that with my friends as well, they will find the answers that they are looking for.... i may not be a perfect friend to them... i cannot offer everything to them or even to satisfy their needs.... but i do assure them that when time comes that people would turn their backs on them.... I WONT.....

a point of no return.....

2005-09-14T09:46:00.000+08:00

the time that i decided to start anew.... i told to myself this would be a start of of a new chapter in my life... a point of no return... no regrets / no worries / no pretentions.... a life full of life / energy / passion and compassion.... a life with my family / my friends and to all the people i knew all throughout my lifetime.... spending every single minute with them and loving it.... a new life... a brand new phoebe.... =P

another night with my friends.....

2005-09-13T08:23:00.000+08:00

spending a night with my girlfriends is quite a treat for me... i don't know the main reason behind it... but all i know is that i just had a wonderful time with them.... stressed with work and all.... maybe that would be the real reason behind it..... pure laughter and trippings when i'm with them, forgetting the stress from a day's work.... forgetting all the problems that we have in our lives even for a couple of hours.... and even talking about it after a few sips from our glasses of buzz..... another day had gone by..... another day with our favorite horse in town... *lol* kidding aside.... a lot of conversations was made.... a lot of silence was also present.... but i know deep inside our hearts and minds.... we are all hurting inside out... diferent problems in life that we 3 share to each other... different problems in our lives that we can't even resolve personally.... my room.... our confession box.... our hideaway when we are drenched with all the shit in our lives... the place where we seek security..... where we seek comfort from our dear friends who have been tested through time..... the comfort of home away from home.... well to all my friends who is out there..... for what its worth.... im really thankful of having you guys in my life... you just don't know how much it means to me....

muchos gracias....

2005-09-10T13:42:00.000+08:00

these are just some people who have shown me how to be a real person inside and out... these people was there when i was in my downfall....they are there to correct my mistakes... they never left me hanging..... thank you for everyhing.....i love you guys..... a lot of people touched my life... and the space here isn't enough for me to post everything... bu to those people i haven't mentioned in this post... thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.... :)

out of the blue....

2005-09-08T14:14:00.000+08:00

out of the blue... im just wondering when would be the right time.... the right time to dream.. the right time to speak... the right time to think... the right time to imagine things as it is.... it wouldn't be the same every single minute of the day... it wouldn't be the same as long as the world turn in circles.... as simple as it seems.... a question yet unanswered... an answer not yet assured..... the world definitely revolves in circles but it doesn't say that we should be on top of that circle....

The Best Version Of You....

2005-09-06T16:25:00.000+08:00

Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It's been two years since shehad last seen the Manila International Airport. Not much has changed.Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. Shewas on her way to New York to pursue a career in Wall Street."Promise me something will you? Please don't get married until I comeback?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack."LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won't run offwith some nerdy economist in the next two years.""Let's see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I'll call you as soon I get to New York."That was her last memory in this place. The warm Manila air made herfeel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first timein two years she'll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully goingthrough the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missedseeing Miguel. How different would he be now? Sure he sends herregular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that shehad always been, she didn't get the time to chat with him and buy awebcam.She's finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" sheexclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near theexit. TGW926. Yup, that's Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping aheadof her as the driver got off."Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her."I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It waswarm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug."Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we'll havemore time for hugging and chika.""Okay."Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel's cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen."You should really get that.""No, you should get that. She's been waiting for you. She insist thatwe go straight to her after I pick you up form the airport. She alsoinsist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about hermother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. Shewould often tell Bea that since she doesn't have a mom anymore, sheshould let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she wereher own daughter."Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?... ah opo. Miguel already toldme. Sige po. Okay po. I'll see you later." She turns off the phone andlooks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name"Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got ahold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I'm withher na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We'll see you tomorrow."We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar,anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn't keep herself from asking. "Sugarha?""I'll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way,kamusta na si Edward?""Edward?""Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa New York?Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh.Baka makalimutan mo rin ako.""Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel has met Edward when hecame to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy.Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He isactually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot."He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parangmay balak ataā€¦""Balak na?""Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going topropose to you kasi.""Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."At Tita Doris', 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the livingroom. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two openarms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on thecheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nitosi Miguel?""Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house.She remembers spending her college days in this house. She rememberssinking into Tita Doris' arms when her mom died. She remembers onlygood things about this woman. She can't remember a time when she hadbeen unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother."Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo 'wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon.""Po?""Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I'll tell her everything tomorrow." Miguelinterrupted his mother before she can spill the beans."Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious."Bukas na lang.""Okay. Tita, if it's okay I'll go rest now." She hugged her, andproceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying herluggage."Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parangworried nanay mo sa iyo?""Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here.""Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing asthe door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it's really good to be back inthis house. I'll see you tomorrow."Tita Doris' 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. Shewas able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice,cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunchwith Tita Doris."Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?""Sinundo si Sugar.""Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako.""Iha, I'll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something,though. Whatever happens you'll always be my daughter, Bea?"She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman.""Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he wasgoing to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked atTita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. Withhim is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame,shoulder length hair and looked very feminine."Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiancĆ©e`." It feltas if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed toher head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn'tswallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute."Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white aswith shock. "I'm sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel hasnever mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked atSugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked backas if she was consoling her."Yeah, I got engaged. I'm keeping my promise. I'm getting married onSaturday. O di ba you're here so in essence I've kept my promise."She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him.She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take goodcare of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded asif she was just joking, turning over a very important possession toit's next owner. In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew shemeant it."He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling ather as if they had been friends for the longest time."I'm sure he has."Lunch was served. All of Bea's favorite Filipino dishes. She and Sugarspent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea's and Miguel'scollege photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most ofthe things she does. They both came from the same high school. As shetried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, sherealized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemedlike the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the weddingdetails, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almostthe same places, the same styles, the same shops. She told Sugar theyshould do shopping marathon together. Had it been another day, shewould be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity tofind someone who understands her shopping needs. Except that this isnot one of those daysā€¦ Except that this woman, this perfect, femininegirlfriend was Miguel's fiancĆ©e`.Bea's phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes."You should really get that" Sugar told Bea."Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I'm good. I'm here at Miguel's.Oh I have in front of me Sugar, Miguel's fiancĆ©e`." The words almostgot stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile."Listen, I'll call you later. I have very good news for you."Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "Sotell me? Was there never a time the two of you were more thanPlatonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at theirown hands. Miguel's gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not.Bea and I were never like that.""As in?" Sugar inquired."LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can'tkeep up with her. She's never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea andsmiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show."I guess that's the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied,with a little hint of disappointment."Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling."Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello?Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."*********The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she hadseen. Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful,blushing bride."I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me andapart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility,asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you,trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may findus."Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walkedaway from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.**********Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving forher, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger."Hay, here we go again. I'm driving you to the airport. Kailan nanaman kaya tao magkikita?""Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was itthat you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Migueljust smiled. "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple ofdays dib a?""You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about youbefore. The only difference is that she's not as ambitious as you are.When you left for New York two years ago, I knew I don't have a placein the life you've chosen. I don't blame you for that. You're good inyour field and I thought to myself that it's your right to move onwithout me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I knowthis sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the betterversion of you in Sugar. She's so much like you in so many ways butthe only difference is she loves me more than you do."She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say hisvows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could hemove on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As shegot off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt herheart heavy."I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel."Wait, I'm not letting you out until you answer question. Did Edward propose?"Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamondsolitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gazefrom the steering wheel to Bea's face, he saw a single tear fall fromher right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edwardwas the best version of you that I can find in New York."

my life as it is.....

2005-09-06T16:05:00.000+08:00

now i just realized that life is too short not to take advantage of.... as simple or as complicated it may be.... we should be thankful for every minute that we have.. every second that we waste... or even every hour that we spend to unnecessary things.... life is definitely too short...

These are my songs that i can relate to.....

2005-09-06T11:47:00.000+08:00

For I'll Be Over You - Toto
Some people lives their dreamsSome people close their eyesSome people's destinyPasses by
There are no guaranteesThere are no alibisThat's how our love must beDon't ask why
It takes some time God knows how longI know that I can forget you
CHORUS:As soon as my heart stops breakin' Anticipatin'As soon as forever is through I'll be over you
Remembering times gone byPromises we once madeWhat are the reasons whyNothin' stays the same
There were the nights Holdin' you closeSomeday I'll try to forget them
CHORUS
[bridge]
As soon as my heart stops breakin'Anticipatin'Someday I'll be over you
As soon as my heart stops breakin'Anticipatin'Someday I'll be over you
As soon as my heart...
I CAN’T MAKE YOU LOVE ME
Turn down the lightsTurn down the bedTurn down these voicesinside my head
Lay down with meTell me no liesJust hold me close,don't patronize
Don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love meif you don'tYou can't make your heart feelsomething it won'tHere in the darkin these final hoursI will lay down my heartAnd I'll feel the powerbut you won'tNo, you won'tCause I can't make you love meif you don't
I'll close my eyesthen I won't seethe love you don't feelwhen you're holding me
Morning will comeand I'll do what's rightjust give me till thento give up this fightand I will give up this fight
Cause I can't make you love meif you don'tYou can't make your heart feelsomething it won'tHere in the darkin these final hoursI will lay down my heartAnd I'll feel the powerbut you won'tNo, you won'tCause I can't make you love meif you don't

LET’S WAIT A WHILE
There's something I want to tell youThere's something I think that you should knowIt's not that I shouldn't really love youLet's take it slowWhen we get to know each otherAnd we're both feeling much strongerThen let's try to talk it overLet's wait awhile longerLet's wait awhile before it's too lateLet's wait awhile before we go too farRemember that special nightWhen all of the stars where shining brightWe made our first endeavorTo stay togetherWe made our very first promiseTo love, to share, and be real honestBut on that very first nightIt wasn't quite rightLet's wait awhile before it's too lateLet's wait awhile, our love will be thereLet's wait awhile before we go too farI didn't really know not to let all my feelings showTo save some for later so our love can be greaterYou said you would always love meRemember I said the same thing tooYou don't have to be frightened with my loveBecause I'll never give up on youLet's wait awhile, awhile before it's too lateYou know you can't rush loveLet's just take our timeWith love so good, we shouldn't rush itWe need to slow it down

HANGING BY A MOMENT
Desperate for changingStarving for truthI'm closer to where I startedI'm Chasing after youI'm falling even more in love with youLetting go of all I've held ontoI'm standing here until you make me moveI'm Hanging by a moment here with youForgetting all I'm lackingCompletely incompleteI'll take your invitationYou take all of me nowI'm falling even more in love with youLetting go of all I've held ontoI'm standing here until you make me moveI'm hanging by a moment here with youI'm living for the only thing I knowI'm running and not quite sure where to goAnd I don't know what I'm diving intoJust hanging by a moment here with youThere's nothing else to loseThere's nothing else to findThere's nothing in the worldThat can change my mindThere is nothing elseThere is nothing elseThere is nothing elseDesperate for changingStarving for truthI'm closer to where I startedI'm Chasing after youI'm falling even more in love with youLetting go of all I've held ontoI'm standing here until you make me moveI'm hanging by a moment here with youI'm living for the only thing I knowI'm running and not quite sure where to goAnd I don't know what I'm diving intoJust hanging by a moment here with youJust hanging by a momentHanging by a moment (here with you)Hanging by a moment (here with you)Hanging by a moment here with you.

IT AIN't OVER TIL IT'S OVER
Here we are, still togetherWe are oneSo much time wastedPlaying games with loveSo many tears i've criedSo much pain inside,But baby it ain't over 'til it's overSo many years we've triedTo keep our love alive,But baby it ain't over 'till it's overHow many timesDid we give up?But we always worked things outAnd all my doubts and fearsKept me wondering, yeahIf i'd always, always be in loveSo many tears i've criedSo much pain insideBut baby it ain't over 'til it's overSo many years we've triedAnd kept our love aliveCuz baby it ain't over 'till it's overSo many tears i've criedSo much pain insideBaby it ain't over 'til it's overSo many years we've triedAnd kept our love aliveCuz baby it ain't over 'till it's overSo many tears i've criedSo much pain insideBut baby it ain't over 'til it's overSo many years we've triedAnd kept our love aliveCuz baby it ain't over 'till it's overSo many tears i've criedSo much pain insideBut baby it ain't over 'til it's overSo many years we've triedTo keep our love aliveCuz baby it ain't over 'till it's over...Over....