life = sucks! (hehe)

i never imagined that my life is too short... sounds familiar right? well... i don't have a choice but just to live with it and make do with whatever i have with my life right now.... i never had a dream for it to be too complicated but as time passes by.... it gradually decreases.... having my family and friends by my side.... makes me stronger each day to face the challenge.... i may not be as perfect as others may be... but im trying.. in my own ways....

cold cold nights...

for the past few days.... its been raining like cats and dogs.... i just miss having somebody by my side during cold nights... where all you do is spend quality time with each other..... talking bout life... bout ur relationship.... ur problems with work... with
life.... with family.... knowing that whatever happens, u know that somebody will listen to you.... that somebody will never leave your side.... that somebody won't judge you at all.... will stay by your side.... up till you fall asleep.... and even wait for the following day to come up....when you wake up.... i hope and pray that with who im with right now is that perfect somebody that i want to spend the rest of my life with....

lovin' my baby more and more!!!

i just realize some stuffs are meant to happen without any plans or whatsoever..... lately.... i'm spending some quality time with my boyfriend... and i'm happy about it... even when we are miles apart from each other we see to it that we could be with each other whenever it is possible.... i love him!! there is no doubt about it... i am happy to have him in my life right now... i hope our story would end up like fairytales do..... and hey live happily every after.... hehehe... kidding aside... and i'm also glad that through him... i've also met a lot of different people... his barkada.... my new ate's and kuya's.... who really treat him as their baby in the barkada.... i love them.... and i'm also thankful that they are treating me well... for now i'm happy... i love this kind of feeling... i hope it just wouldn't end just like that... ! :)

i'm back!!!!

After the long wait…. I’m finally back… hehehe… kidding aside... it took me quite sometime to get back to blogging…

A lot of things had been happening in my life lately…..
Maybe it’s just too much for me to handle…..

Well my life is still the same with some minor upgrades and major repairs.

One would be the death of my dearest grandmother last may….. Actually the start of the summer was very grueling for me and my family…. We no longer enjoy the benefits of life thoroughly because having a sick relative that you love …. Suffering all the pain and you can’t do anything about it… it really sucks…. If only I could be the one lying in bed taking in all the pain just not to see her suffer like that… I would definitely take her place without any hesitations…. I cannot bare to see her looking like that…. I feel so helpless… I just realize back then that even though you have everything in life… family… money… career…. Love life… if it’s your time you can’t do anything about it... not even if you have loads of money to spend….. Our life means everything…. Without it we are nothing…. Non-existent to this world….


Losing a relative is tough….. As well as losing a friend whom you really trust and valued like your real sister…..

I just realized that my friends were right….. There are only two things that could make or break your friendship… MONEY & RELATIONSHIP….. I thought it was just a mere saying… or just a line in some movies… but I’ve proven it to myself… all the while I thought… she did change like what she is trying to make me believe... but what I thought was REAL was totally a FRAUD…. I once told her that she just have to tell me the truth… no more lies… no more pretensions…. Is that too much to ask…. That was the second time around and she haven’t learned anything form it yet… we cannot have the best of both worlds… but my point with that honesty that i'm looking forward from her, will definitely buy her respect from me…. But what happened…. She opted to be the same person; she was once before….. right now…. I still wish her well…. I hope that whatever’s going on in her life… she would be happy with it…. Not all people could understand the way I think… I hope karma won’t go her way at all…. Coz even if we are already apart from each other as friends….. I still don’t want to see her suffer like the way I did….

But with all of my loses in life…. I still haven’t yet giving up…. As each day pass by… I’m happy and contented with what I have right now…. My life… my family…. My friends… my work…. And my boyfriend…. I may not be the perfect person in this whole world but i’m trying to be at my best….. without them, I am nothing… without them standing by me… i’m worthless…. I owe them a lot….

dreaming of the impossible...

i never imagine a life full of problems and trials... but as i look at my life right now... i have that kind of life.... when i was a kid i always wish to be older so that i could do stuffs older people do... but why do i feel this way right now... i wish to be a kid... with a hassle free life... you can do anything without people judging you based on your actions.... you can be whoever you wanna be... but as i evaluate my life... its full of complications, hardships and trials.... but without these things in my life that has been happenning for the longest time... i wouldn't be stronger and ready to face the present the future to come....

what hurts????

what hurts?
What hurts...???:: letting go of a person u've just learned to love
:: reminiscing the good times u shared together
:: shielding ur heart to love somebody
:: trying to hide what u really feel
:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes
:: loving a person too much
:: giving up someone u never thought of giving up
:: having the right love at the wrong time
:: taking the risk to fall in love again
:: hiding ur relationship from someone else
:: controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
:: thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks single thought of you...
:: letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper
:: holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
:: falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall inlove with =(
:: finding the perfect man...with only one prob....he doesnt love you...
:: helping the one you love court your friend
:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else
:: the waiting also hurts like hell (better leave!ampotah)
:: having to hear "... I've met someone"
:: agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
:: asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with her'
:: asking u to 'forget that everything happened'and be 'normal' friends again.
:: hearing that u're treated as a little sister.
:: sharing his future plans for the girl with you.
:: u stopped being friends bcoz her bf/gf asked her/him to.
:: being denied in front of people.
:: telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame'!
:: she told u she'd be leaving u to return to her ex (d one she left 4 u!)
:: breaking someone's heart =(
:: fighting for that one thing that would make you happy (even if you`re unsure where youre heading and if she`s worthy of that effort..)
:: that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fixedhimself/herself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he/she says, time will tell...but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her (you`ll definetly get tired of this set up..break the cycle!)
:: PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
:: PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness
:: lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...
:: being with someone you can't actually love..=(
:: pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...
:: being in love...*sigh*
:: letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting, because it was your decision(coz if you do..ang kupal mo!)
:: seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...
:: having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things willnever be the same again when he/she doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
:: having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set foryourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
:: admitting that you love someone despite her/his imperfections
:: finding out that the more you try to hate her/him, the more you end up loving her/him,perhaps even more than before...
:: realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
:: the thought that this girl/guy, used to really love you and you loved her/him as well but you didn'tgive enough and she/he gave up on you (all your fault!bleh ;op)
:: Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else...
:: making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to bedelivered....the commitment is no longer there...
:: the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
After you've been hurt......learn to forgive...learn to trust and love again

...a simple night out with friends...

before we left for the party in malate... i had to do a lot of stuff for work... for my family and also for myself.... but before the day was over i had a huge fight with somebody...and that led to a confrontation which i never expected... maybe the sudden downpour of emotion was overpowering that i myself cannot control anymore...

going further... the haven't started yet but it seems that i wasn't in the mood to party that night... but things have to go the way it was planned to be... we went to the party... it was not that organized for us... if we are given the opportunity to redo the party we would be glad to help.. to give more style... and attitude... for what its worth.. it was okay... but now exceeding our expectations...

thus we also have to bring home my lil sis for she was not feeliug well that night.. so the plans for the night was disrupted again for the nth time... seems funny though but i'd rather secure my sister's health than my own trippings for the night....

so there.. we went ahead to bring her home then we decided to go out again... hehhe ... the night was still young and we haven't enjoyed it yet... :) all is well.... :) just chillin till the break of morning that'll hit our eyes....